WHERE ARE YOU GABBONESSO?

The following letter is the most recent hate mail that I have received from a furry. This one, however, is apparently from the ENTIRE furry community. So that's nice... Also, it seems they have a spy on my Facebook page. Awesome. I know this is funny, but sometimes it's not....

Dear Gabbonesso -
We are here, but where are you? We know you posted on FB last week that you were "protesting nude",  but once again YOUR imagination got the  better of you because we never saw your disgusting skin anywhere. I also saw your new facebook pics showing skin. Was that for me? Or are you trying to appeal to the rest of your skinfaggot bethren?!!! WHORE! You make us sick. You are so full of everything, but fursona! Too bad your just a little coward hiding in lame skin rather than a original, fursonal idenity.
Go back to your little imaginary world with Mrs. Plowright and your stuped plastic shark!
Signed,
The Furries (All of US!)

Oh Boy! (George) - A NEW LETTER (of hatred)

Dear Bully -

I was researching online re: the upcoming Furry convention in Pittsburgh which, as you know, will take place this coming June.

I’m sure you and your idiot readers will protest the event. 

It’s really unfortunate that in order to google an important event to myself and my fellow anthros that we are forced to read your trash: Furries Hate Me.

Really? Are you sure?

From the letters on your site, from the personal emails that you publish from my brethren… YOU seem to hate US.

Yes, it did appear you had ONE bad experience with our convention in 2010 when you posed as one of us in an attempt to be funny.

“Attempt”.

I would like to fusonally warn you that if you or your minions attempt to ruin our convention then there will be consequences that you will hate.

This is not a threat because anthros are the least threatening species in the Universe, however Bullying is NEVER tolerated.

This is your warning Gabbonesso!

Signed,

Cam E. Leon

A NEW LETTER! THIS ONE IS NOT SO HATEFUL AS MUCH AS CREEPY!

Gab Bonesso and Phineas (the "real" shark)

Dear Ms. Bonesso -

I am so sorry to see that so many of my "furry" brethren are attacking you online. I understand your confusion from your original post. You were trying to be a part of the event by dressing as one of us. Your intention was NEVER to be mean or disrespectful. In fact, you were trying to show us respect. I get it.

In fact, I believe it was the "furries" whom you were exposed to who acted mean and disrespectful.

It takes a lot for a human who does not identify as a "furry" to dress as one. Just like it would take a lot for a heterosexual man to dress like a homosexual man. Right?

I respect what you did.
I understand it.
You are have my total support.

I was also wondering if you ever wear your shark costume anymore? You looked very pretty in it. I should have mentioned this earlier but I, too, prefer the comfort of a shark costume. I've enclosed a pic of myself. Am I'm scary enough for you?

(BTW: The little girl is my daughter from my first marriage. Her mother was a dolphin. Our marriage never stood a chance.)

My email is: sharkysimmons69@aol.com
My g-chat is: sharkysims
My plenty of fish username is: sharkysharksims

Hit me up if you want to further explore your shark possibilities!

Your fan/friend,

Sharky Simmons

Entry #5: A Letter From Dr. Fox

Dear "Ironic" PUMA (a.k.a. Closeted Furry in Shark's Clothing) -

Not all "furries" (as you call us) are uneducated morons. You talk about irony but what I find to be ironic is a PUMA pretending to hate furries...

I scoured your blog. Not this pathetic attempt to make Anthropomorphism seem weird and stupid. No, your other blog: gabbonesso.com.

You are a blatant PUMA. You love Hillary Clinton. Do you think your idol Hillary would judge us?

Well, she does not.

She attended a furry convention during her campaign.

As did our President.

Have either of them ever attended one of your crappy comedy shows?

I didn't think so.

Good luck trying to make us look stupid!

Also, you sure seem to like dressing like a furry for someone who "HATES" furries.

I wonder if this girl "doth protest too much"...

Signed,

Dr. Fox
medfredfox@ymail.com

(Dr. Fox included this picture with his email. I don't have the heart to inform him that she is not posing with a "furry" but with her hubby the former President of the United States. Oh, Dr. Fox... You are too smart for your own good.)

A Letter from Dean O. Sore

Dear Wannabee SHARK -

For one thing, those people weren't REAL furries. They were just clubbers and the Typewriter Girl fans dressed up as furries because that was the theme of the gig. If the theme was superheroes, they'd all be dressed up as comic book characters. Which wouldn't make them the real thing. And whatever you hear from TV shows and tabloid reporters who make things up about people so they can sell more advertising, furries are not people who have sex in animal costumes. Seriously, you think you could get it on with what you had on? Or anyone in that crowd?

We wear the animal costume or "our true skin" to feel natural. The way GOD intended us to be. He told Eve not to talk to the Serpent, but she did anyway. You know why?

talking to animals is truth.

God knew it.

See, you and all the other "haters" will find out on Judgement Day.

The serpent was/is GOD.

We are animals.

Hahahahaha. No wonder they hated you....

Signed,

Dean

ENTRY #3: A LETTER FROM MADELINE

Dear Furry Hating Bitch and Shark lover-

Oh boo hoo, you came in with a bad attitude and the crowd hated you because of it, can you blame them? Furries are the most understanding creatures in the world.

If anything you should have come out of this feeling a little bit of empathy for a bunch of nerds who get bullied nearly non-stop just because they are misunderstood.

Though from the way you wrote out these events I can see you are no were near ready to accept the fact that people around you have different hobbies, ones that you need not understand or participate in, just tolerate.

If you don’t want to be a furry, don’t be a furry, don’t go to furry conventions, don’t talk to furries online, but don’t make yourself look like an unprofessional little freak who got her knickers in a knot because not everything in the world fits into her “game plan”. Sorry your shark isnt giving you enough.

All this is another “furries ruined my day” sympathy piece from someone who obviously got their ego hurt a group of people who didn’t worship or hang on her every word because she lacked fursonality!

Haha, even furries dislike you, that should tell you something.

You probably don’t even know what it’s like to have sex with a tail?

Your a joke.

Too bad you can’t tell them.
Looser!


Madeline


Dear Madeline,

Yep, I'm the "freak". Per your statement: "Your a joke". Yep, me again. As for your assumption that I don't know what it's like to "have sex with a tail", well, let's just say that I once dated a jackal who turned out to be Beelzebub back in the early aughts. So. Yeah. I know a thing or 6 (6-6) about tail sex. Thanks for asking.


Your friends,


Gab (the "looser") and Phineas (the shark - inflatable NOT furry)

Entry #2.25 - Comment from "WritesAllNight"

"Writes All Night" comments: 


"Ooh, hate comments from furries on a blog dedicated to hate mail from furries!  That is so meta!"


Gab writes:


I like this comment. It reminds me of something Abed from NBC's Community would say. "Writes All Night" is officially in the running for our: Comment of the Year Contest in which the grand prize winner will receive one, furry lap dance (from an authentic furry). Winners will be announced next August. Stay tuned (on this blog and not on heroin)!

(This picture is from the night that I was verbally attacked. My best friend Phineas is also pictured here. He's the real shark. Well, kind of.)